Things I would have told my 20 year old self
Counting age by changes and events not years
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter ~ Mark Taiwan
Age is indeed a number. But regardless of the inevitable process of Innate Senescence, this post makes me feel a bit old. Old to me is understanding each day how the world actually works and connecting the dots which you never thought belonged on the same page.
Setting Boundaries
Every relationship is special. You can and should set boundaries within which you are comfortable. This might mean saying ‘no’ more often or calling people out if they make you uncomfortable. Also,
Looking out for yourself is not rude.
This is also true in work responsibilities. Taking up more responsibility to feel later that you are the only one putting in the most effort is not cool!
But now as I am a bit wiser than I was, I have certain phrases which I use more often -
- In case of a new work assignment ~ Do you mind if I circle back after checking if I can fit this into my schedule?
- Meeting someone new~ I feel this is very personal and I am not comfortable with you asking me such questions
- I don’t like you are using the word ‘any slur ~ bitch or literally anything which makes you uncomfortable’ to address me. Could you skip that, please?
Using these has helped me a lot in my personal and professional life. Setting boundaries clarifies what to expect from people and what they can expect from you.
Relationship with your parents
As you grow up, your parents will understand very few parts of your life. Keeping the bond strong and finding a middle ground in things would be in your hands. You will come to understand that they have had a very different life than you and you might not agree with everything.
The key would be to communicate to make them understand your situation by giving them examples from their surroundings.
It’s a constant effort but you will get there eventually.
Working ~ but efficiently
I know you are a hard worker and want to achieve things. This would still be the case after 5 years. But you will learn to be more efficient and to prioritize well.
Learning to use the calendar more efficiently is the most understated productivity skill.
The world around you will always be focused on working more. But the questions about how much you want to work and whether you want to work at all are on you always. Your work does not define who you are.
Being Reliable ~ to yourself
Self help would be big in the next 5 years. There would be quotes and speeches everywhere about how to lead your best life. Most of them are redundant and not well researched.
Doing what you are supposed to do is easier than the things that you should do for yourself. Temporary deadlines might seem important than that 5 minute meditation you decided to do the last night.
Being reliable to yourself is the first of being reliable towards others.
This will eventually reflect in other areas of your life like relationships and career.
Falling in love ~ with everything
You will fall in love a lot not just with people but places. You will visit the most beautiful places in the world and every place will become a part of you.
You will meet the most helpful people in Taiwan. You will celebrate Easter with one of your German friend and his family will make you feel at home even miles away from yours. A 12 year old will help you translate after your phone died. You will fall in love with languages.
You will no longer see a language as a Machine Translation problem.
But you will learn to embrace it. You will realize how a language portrays a culture and expression of emotions. You will fall in love with the stories of people and realize how loss and love connect everyone around us. How similar people are after you get to know them. You will learn to embrace life and people more.
Meeting people is the best way to understand representation and equality.
Having fun
Amongst everything, this is the most important one. You will never be 20 again. You will not want the same things in life as you grow up. Go give that relationship a chance. Give that idea a shot and work over it all night. Go be immature and earn a lot of money! I know you love pizza to such an extent that when you go to Italy you will not eat anything else for 7 straight days. Don’t regret it. Don’t regret the unhealthy diet! In 2 years you will realize how important it is to eat healthy but for that moment just live in it.
